Nightmares Before Christmas

On the nights before Christmas…

when the relays are groaning under the loads
and ISP admins start to turn into toads

they tear out their hair and cry in despair
“why’s all this mail coming out of thin air?”

it’s Christmas time, the season of selling
it’s also a time to hear Barry’s yelling

Senders, here’s a short poem for you
chock-full of advice and a twopenny clue

don’t pull out that old dusty list
crumpled and worn, all clutched in your fist

that list is so old and so full of churn
your delivery will wither and burn, burn, burn

don’t up and start sending to people who left
else you’ll be subject to the mallet’s true heft

your reputation will suffer a mighty big blow
and like most things, it takes time to re-grow

it’s time you don’t have this holiday season
so please, please, do listen to reason

send email to people that signed up and want it
send timely, relevant and desirable content!

Most of all, don’t you make Barry cry
lest you wish to spend Christmas wondering “why?!”

engagement is king, it has proved to be true
send email right, and Merry Christmas to you!

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